Zomlypse Survival Part IV – “The Talk”

8 09 2012

This is for that awkward part of the zomlypse where you need to have “The Talk.” Its going to happen, unless you get killed in the opening credits, so here are a few pointers to get through it with some tact and hopefully no unwarranted killings.

1. Remember this is weird for everyone involved. Even if it isn’t happening directly to you. Being in the same room or knowing that this is going down, will make it like the moments on television where you want to look away but can’t because it is just so damn awkward and sad. So if you are the one doing the talking, just make sure you do it how you would like it done to you.

2. If it happens to a member of the original group, non bait member, who completed the orientation and reviewed the terms of the group, just remind the member of what they agreed with before joining the group. This will make sense though not make it any easier. For non-original group members or bait members, this is where the whole tact thing will be needed. There is a script below for some easy practice! (also makes for a great group activity on member orientation. Gets everyone involved and can provide insight to “The Talk” for future use.)

Infected: “Oh no! I *got bit!”

*Got Bit can be changed to scratched, infected, dying, have been hiding something…really anything that might cause alarm or create an additional threat to the group

You: “Really? Wow (insert name here), what a tough and totally unexpected turn of events. Here let me…” (insert action from options below)

Before selecting an action decide the persons role, personality, and severity of the threat.

A. Bait member without new standing (IE alternate member with emotional attachments, unrealized skills that are just too cool, reason for “The Talk” was cause because they saved your life/life of important member): “solve that for you.”

Solve is code for killing. You should just shot them, advise the group of the decision, and move on from there.

B. Original Group Member without change in status (IE threatened the safety of the group for personal or crazy reasons that were decided as unforgivable and given access to the group on a probationary status, become a liability, tried to hide the infection): “comfort you in a non-creepy way.”

(author note: this is generally where human emotions of empathy should kick in/be given, if you do not have these skills…fake it IE hug them, pat their back, hold their hand, and for extra brownie points a few tears would suffice.)

C. Original Group Member w/ change in status: “Go get you a glass or water or something.”

This is when you hold a offical meeting of the group and decide if the prior infractions warrant immediate termination or if even access to full original member status. Once determined refer to the appropriate option for action.

D. Addition to group picked up along the way with undetermined status (IE unknown if decided as bait, but a possibility): “Be right back, I think (insert other group members name here) is calling me. I will be right back.”

This is where you hold a group meeting with an odd number of members to vote on the infected status – once determined refer to the appropriate option for action.

E. Bait member with new standing: “Go get you something to eat.”

This is when you hold a offical meeting of the group and decide if actions/emotions warrant upgrade in status. Once voted on, refer to appropriate option for action.

3. Once “The Talk”has begun and the appropriate inital action taken, you can proceed to the next step. Either gathering a portion of the group to properly dispose of the body, or to present the appropriate options to the infected.

Infected: “Thanks (insert your name here), I really appreciate the (insert comfort/blanket/water per above options) and your absolutely empathic response to my obvious trying time. You are awesome!

You: Well “infected” you know I  truly value our friendship/relationship even during the zomlypse and want to walk you through a couple of things alright?

Infected: Of course, you have been so nice and even though I am obviously upset I am going to handle this like a bad a, and accept my fate.

You: Glad you can be so level-headed with this. Well first lets going over your option/s (please refer to the options below to explain to the infected)

A. Full Fledged Group Member with signed agreement: “Well as being a member of the survival group you are aware of the two options, but I will go over each of them with you now. (at this time, present the contract. In my original it is section 12:3 section B – starting on paragraph 3, but everyone’s will be a little different.) As stated in the guidelines of being a member of our survival group, the first option if quite simple. I can kill you now directly with one shot to the head and then remove your head from the remainder of your body, after saying good-bye to the rest of the group if you choose. Or I can seal you in a secure area (IE jail cell, well, be bricked into a doorless room strapped down) and either just prior to turning or to once turned be eliminated in the same manner. Remember of the clause regarding trying to run or to try to arrange to be kept once turned will result in instant termination of you plus anyone found guilty of assisting you per your signed agreement. If you would like I can give you three minutes to go over your decision….”

B. All others being allowed to survive the initial deaths: “Well, do you want to say goodbye to anyone before I shoot you in the head and we dispose of your body?

4. Almost done! Now that a decision has been made, you either shoot, start bringing members of the group for a possibly tearful goodbye, or constructing or prepping the holding cell for infected keeping.

5. Once completed. Make sure you depose of the body safely and in a way to avoid any further losses in the group. Hold possible burial or wake depending on the situation. Remember life is valuable and fleeting. Breathe!

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